My Husband, the Running Widower

image I like to think that I have the best of both worlds with my job as a high school librarian. Yes, I start work very early in the morning, but I get to be home to greet my daughters’ school buses in the afternoon and to prepare dinner for my family. I get to help my girls with their homework and hear about their days at school before I rush them off to their extracurricular practices. I get to spend Spring Break, Summer Break, Thanksgiving Break, and Christmas Break with them. I get to spend my day doing a job that I love with fantastic people and I don’t have to jeopardize time with my family. It’s really been great for me as a mother. When I selected my career as a high school teacher I was in my early twenties, unmarried and childless, and had no notion of which direction my life would take. I feel fortunate to have picked a career that is both rewarding and affords me time with my family.

My flexible work schedule also allows me time to pursue my passion of running. Who knew four years ago I would call myself a runner? Not me, certainly. The running bug got me and I haven’t been the same since. I’ve written many times about why I run. I think the most succinct answer to the question, “why do I run?” is to feel free. I feel nothing but free when I’m running. My husband and daughters support my running, but I need to be careful not to ask too much from them. Yes, I should be able to pursue my running dreams, but not at the expense of them. I simply can’t ask them to allow me to throw myself completely into my running where there’s not much left of me for them.

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img_8033-1The month of April was a spectacular running month for me. I was able to participate in two out of town running relays. The first was the Texas Independence Relay which took me away from my family from April 1st through April 3rd. The second was the Ragnar Trail Atlanta Relay which took me away from my family from April 14th through April 17th. These were both wonderful running experiences and both were on my bucket list, but they occurred two weeks apart. This was really asking a lot from my family. My poor husband was left alone to cart my daughters to their soccer games and other activities. He was solely responsible for homework, dinner, laundry, dishes, etc. It would be unreasonable for me not to expect my family to feel a little taken advantage of by my blowing and going. These events weren’t work-related, they weren’t religious missions, they were both all about me pursuing my dreams as a runner. I better be careful here, I try very hard to not put my running above my family, but for the month of April my running came first.

imageThere have been countless times when my daughters had soccer games an hour’s drive from our home and they needed to be at their warm up by 8:15. On those days I’d force myself to wake at 2:30 in the morning to allow enough time to eat, dress, do my long run, shower, eat, and help my daughters and husband prepare to leave. I woke at this ungodly hour so that I would not have to forsake either my long run or watching my daughters’ sports that weekend. Additionally, I squeeze my track speed workouts in most times after work but before my daughters get home from school. This way I can still help with homework and prepare dinner before it’s time for me to take them to practice. Because I must leave for work by 6:00 each workday, this means I arise at 3:40 so that I can fit in my run and some short strength training before I shower and get ready to leave for work. I do these things because I enjoy working outside of the home, but I also enjoy being around to do things for my family. I want to pursue my passion, but not at the cost of my family.

imageSo, really, what this rant is all about is just the age-old conundrum: how do I focus on my passion without forsaking my family and friends? This post is all about the juggling act we must maintain on a regular basis to enrich ourselves and to be present for our loved ones. There are only so many hours in the day and when we spend time on one thing, we are neglecting something else. That’s just the nature of life. We cannot possibly focus all of our energy on one thing and expect all of the other things to be nurtured as well. During the month of April I mainly focused on my running. My running took me out of town not once, but twice. I was not around for days at a time and I left all of the work up to my husband. I know that he is resentful of my running at times, I mean how can he not be? I also know that my husband admires my drive and passion. He appreciates the way that I am serving as a good role model for our girls. He is supportive, but even I realize I was a bit absent last month.

So, I will resolve to work extra hard to be present and engaged when I am with my family. For, running is a wonderful addition to my life, but my family is the most important thing to me. What good is success if you don’t have loved ones with which to share it? My family drives me to be better. They are the reason I am fulfilled.

How do you balance your running and your family life? Do you feel torn at times trying to juggle everything? What have you found to help negotiate the balancing act?

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“Social networking has completely changed my fitness experience.”

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Social Media has completely transformed my fitness experience. I used to use Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter solely with friends and family with which I regularly interacted in person. Slowly, I began to add old high school friends and new friends to my Facebook account. As I became more and more passionate about my running, my social networking feeds started to become much more fitness related. What began to happen to me is that I believe I was somewhat putting my friends, family, and acquaintances off with all of the running and fitness-related posts. Slowly I began to get more involved with Twitter and Instagram and really began to participate in Twitter running chats and following other runners on both Twitter and Instagram. I started to realize that Twitter and Instagram are great places for me to focus on my fitness interests. I can feel free to post all of my running and fitness related pictures and musings and look at other people’s running and fitness related pictures and posts. Slowly but surely I found myself limiting my fitness pictures and posts solely to Twitter and Instagram and limiting my pictures and posts of all non-fitness related items to Facebook. This has helped me reach the correct audiences.

I was at a school district librarian meeting recently and a librarian acquaintance whom I also happen to be “friends” with on Facebook approached me to tell me how I haven’t been posting pictures of my running shoes on Facebook anymore. I remember she used to tease me about all of my running-related posts, and as I’m sure she didn’t intend her comments to be mean-spirited or ugly, sensitive me always kind of took them that way. I truly felt I was putting her off, and possibly many other family members and friends. This is why I have enjoyed compartmentalizing my social networking interactions. While my librarian friend thought it was odd that I posted all of these running and fitness related items, many others out in cyberspace that I have befriended, share these interests with me and we enjoy our own unique relationship online.

So, to all my Instagram and Twitter fitness friends: thanks for being there and sharing your lives with me.