Why do I run?
No words. It’s impossible to explain no matter how hard I try, and somehow I worry that completely putting my feelings into words would cheapen them and make them less magical. How does one explain how it feels to fall in love? This is similar to how I feel about running. The answer to the question, “why do I run?” is quite simply, to feel free. I feel free from barriers, negative thoughts, worry, and apprehension. I feel myself become better with every run. I get closer to finding that inner me that is inherently good and has been there the whole time. I have too many thoughts in my head, and many of them are negative and counterproductive. I run because it gives me a chance to think them and then be done with them. Why do I punish myself with these thoughts? I’m not sure, but after a two hour or longer run I no longer have the energy to think about them. I am done with them … at least until they crop up again from out of the dark recesses of my brain days later. I find that after a long run with the constant thinking it takes a while before those negative thoughts start creeping back in. So, the running helps to stave off the beating up of myself. See a time lapse video of one of my runs here.
Another question I ask myself is, “why write about running?” I think It is because it is very nice to go back to these little blog posts and read what I was on my mind as I ran. As I read old posts I find myself thinking, “wow, yeah good point.” If only I could be that person writing the blog entries all of the time. Imagine … if I were able to keep from all of that negative thinking and just be happy. Be able to put it all together and make sense of it. The running stimulates my creativity and gets all of my cylinders firing. It really is sort of a shame to not put my thoughts onto the page, so that is how this blog was born.
I can never truly answer the question, “why do I run?” All I know is that when I am running and I’m in my zone, I am someone else. I am strong and confident. I am fearless and capable. Courageous and inspiring. Running is my friend. My companion. She is always there to give me what I need. Sometimes it is an easy, comfortable run and sometimes it is a challenging and frustrating run. In short, running fills a void. A void that I can’t even pinpoint. I am better because of running.